The coincidence of date....

Once again, I start my blog post by lamenting the fact that I have, once more, failed in my intention to post regularly. I do mean to post, but I seem to find that I run out of time and, combined with my rubbish memory, this results in me giving myself a (metaphorical) slap on the forehead and uttering a Homer Simpson-esque "Doh!" as I realise that I've failed in my blogging mission.

However, today I find myself in the lucky position of having time and having remembered - this may not be quite so lucky for you, having to read my meandering thoughts!

The coincidence of date - this came to mind on January 13th this year, when Neil, Adam and I were climbing Helvellyn in the Lake District. We had persuaded Adam to come out with us. He's not a natural climber and hasn't taken advantage of being on the edge of the beautiful Lake District by going out and exploring those glorious mountains, so we were really pleased we managed to get him out with us. Hopeful that our day would inspire him to get out and enjoy those hills, we set off in snow and with ice underfoot. For the first hour, he was not too happy but soon he began to enjoy it and was striding forth confidently. Unfortunately, on the way down, he strode forth a bit too confidently, slipped on some ice and landed heavily on his right arm. He had obviously done something to it, as he couldn't bend it and was quite clearly in some considerable pain, so after we got off the mountain, Adam drawing in his breath every time he stumbled on some rough ground and sometimes yelping with pain, we went straight to A & E at Carlisle Hospital. An x-ray later, we were told he might have a fracture at the elbow but it was hard to tell, so he was strapped up in a fetching blue velcro sling and told to return to the fracture clinic the next day. Luckily, it turned out not to be broken, just badly bruised!

January 13th? In 2012, I was having my monthly check-up at the Marsden, not yet officially in remission, and my consultant found a suspiciously soft gland. Long wait for an ultrasound scan and a week later I was told there was nothing wrong. Even so, it was enough to bring back those feelings of helplessness, uncertainty, fear and lack of control I had experienced for so much of 2011 for that week of waiting.

I think next January 13th, I shall remain indoors and encourage the rest of my family to do the same!!
I know, I know it's bad luck to be superstitious, but even so.....

In other news, I am still working two days a week in London - I have really enjoyed this piece of project work. It's been great to use my brain and to feel I am making a difference and I have really missed the office buzz, the conversations while waiting for the kettle to boil, the planning, decision making, thinking process and the opportunity to make suggestions. Two days a week feels about right to me - that, with my one day a week volunteering at the wonderful Orpheus Centre, is about all I have stamina for at the moment.

I find this lack of stamina quite disappointing. I had hoped that, by now, I would be much nearer the stamina levels I had before I got ill.  My friend, who herself is in remission from cancer, had said to me right from the start that it would take two years or thereabouts to get back to similar levels, but I did hope I would get there a bit early! I guess I have to remember that it's only 17 months since that gruelling treatment finished and only about a year since I started eating properly again, so all in all, perhaps I'm not doing too badly. I just miss that sense of having energy to spare, that need to do something to use up the spare energy. Instead, I find myself falling asleep on the train home from work, having almost hallucinations in that half-asleep-half-awake state so that I wonder if I am in some strange parallel universe. I don't remember getting this tired before being ill. Will it get better? I am trying to do the right things. I eat healthily, I exercise regularly, I sleep as much as I can, I drink lots of water - what more can I do?

Still, I'm alive, I'm doing so much more than even 6 months ago and I have my wonderful family and friends giving me constant support. I hope they feel I am giving something back to them too.

Just over half of Seven Sisters....

It's been a fairly quiet week since my last blog. That's not a bad thing, actually, since I was pretty busy the previous week, with shopping, wedding, gym etc and this week is starting to get more filled, so it was probably good to have a bit of a lull.

I took my glam frock to be altered so that I don't trip over it when I am at the Olivier Awards (oh, have I mentioned I am going to those? I'm sure I must have, a few times at least.....!). The rest of the week was spent doing domestic stuff, chatting to Adam about uni and just pottering around. I have discovered a great talent for pottering around over the last few months. I can while away most of the day doing a bit of tidying here, some cleaning there, a little light dusting over there, a bit of reading, catching up with missed episodes of Corrie - it's easy to fill the time!

The only thing we had planned for Easter was to go walking on Saturday with our friend Jonathan. We have done a lot of walks with him over the years (he climbed Kili with us and has climbed various other big hills with Neil) and had arranged this a few weeks ago. We drove down to his house and then on to Seaford, where we started our walk. We did 18 miles (a bit more distance once you factor in the elevations), including four of the Seven Sisters - hence the title of this post! We had to take off our boots and socks and roll up our trouser legs to cross the river. I believe the water was what you would call "bracing" - we called it flipping freezing (one of those words may have been sanitised for public consumption....).

Our walk included a pub lunch, a cup of tea in Alfriston and coffee and a hot cross bun back at Jonathan's house, so we were in no danger of going thirsty or hungry. Back home by about 9 o'clock and both of us were pretty tired by our day. I also had a little blister on the pad of my big toe - this is officially Not Good, as I need to get rid of it before VLM day, so I had to prick it (apologies to those of you with needle phobias, but sometimes it's the only thing to be done!).

On Sunday, I was reading at church and had also arranged to make an announcement before the start of the service asking for sponsorship for VLM. People were so generous and I raised another few hundred pounds, so I am able to pass over a respectable amount of money to Macmillan Cancer Support. I am humbled and thankful for the generosity of so many people, not just in terms of financial support for Macmillan, but for practical and emotional support over the past year and continuing now, as I start to gear up for the start of work on my face, beginning with my first Botox treatment next month. I tell you, I am going to end up looking younger than my peers :-)

I arrived home from church and my baby brother had arrived - he is visiting us for a few days. We don't get many opportunities to spend time together, so it's great having some time to chat or just sit watching Who Wants to be a Millionaire, which is what we're doing right now! We had a traditional Easter roast and were joined by the young lad whom our son is working 1-2-1 with this week. He is non-verbal autistic and an absolutely beautiful, delightful boy, even if he is very tiring and demanding to care for. It was good to have our family all together again for a meal, with the addition of my baby brother and this young lad.

We didn't really do anything on Easter Monday - weather pretty shabby, so a walk or bike ride were out of the question. We called round to see our friends, played with their puppy (no, not a euphemism) and then came home for a Quiet Night In.

Today, back to exercise - I have missed it over the past couple of days and, because I hadn't done a lot last week, was feeling a bit lardy. So, today I have been to the gym, a Zumba class and Pilates this evening. I feel much better for it too.

And so to now, and we are about to watch a programme on BBC2 about the Royal Marsden Hospital, where I was so well cared for last year. I'm not sure how easy the programme will be to watch, whether it will remind me of a difficult and distressing time, but I do feel it's important to watch it. They do wonderful work and it's good that people know about them.