..me! In all the excitement of my results yesterday, I didn't find time to mention on my blog the fact that I was nominated for a Liebster Blog Award. This is a "pay it forward" award scheme, where bloggers nominate up to five other bloggers with fewer than 200 followers, to increase readership and share their blogs. I was very touched and honoured to receive a nomination from Single Married Mum.
My nominations for bloggers to receive the Liebster award are as follows:
Mme Lindor - for her honest blogging, not pretending everything is always sweetness and light, but sharing the challenging times as well. Also, for her immense capacity to care about injustice and unfairness towards other people.
Sophrunning - her descriptions of helping her young AS daughter are an incredibly moving insight into the love between mother and daughter and the sheer frustrations faced by her lovely Grace on a daily basis, frustrations shared by her mum as she challenges the educational system.
A bit of a cheat now, as I am going to nominate the same blogger twice, for two very different blogs.
Geves. This first blog by Geves is a searingly honest and haunting account of how she dealt with the worst thing a parent could face; the death of her beautiful daughter. Geves's strength - and weakness - are brought before her reader in an unforgettable way.
The second blog from Geves is here. In this blog, Geves recounts working as a volunteer in a men's prison, helping them use creative writing to express themselves. I love the insights Geves gives to her own reactions to the men and the dignity and respect she affords these men, some of whom may have never felt respected in their lives.
My final award goes to staranise - as a fellow grammatical pedant and avid reader, I feel she is a kindred spirit!
Thank you to Single Married Mum for nominating me - her blog is here -a real insight into being a forces' wife and mother.
Bloggers of the world unite and pay it forward!
Saturday, 11 February 2012
Friday, 10 February 2012
...and breathe!
Very quick blog post today, just to share with you the news from my scan - no sign of cancer cells anywhere!!! This is the best news we could have had and, while accepting the usual caveats that accompany such pronouncements, I feel incredibly relieved and immensely grateful, to the dedicated and skilled doctors and health care professionals, to our wonderfully supportive friends and to my amazing husband and children, without whom I would have been floundering every day.
I still feel a bit numb, to be honest. It's as if the news hasn't quite sunk in. I think I had prepared myself to deal with bad news, rather than good, so I don't quite know how to deal with it! In the absence of any other plan, I have resorted to the tried and tested glass of fizzy (and very nice it is too!). We're going out for a celebratory dinner shortly, but I think there is room for reflection too, given what's happened over the past year. Time to think about what is precious and valuable to us, perhaps.
I do feel as if I have been holding my breath for the past goodness knows how long and finally, finally I can let it out. It's a good feeling.
Live life, love life.
(any spelling or grammatical errors are the result of unaccustomed intake of alcohol!)
I still feel a bit numb, to be honest. It's as if the news hasn't quite sunk in. I think I had prepared myself to deal with bad news, rather than good, so I don't quite know how to deal with it! In the absence of any other plan, I have resorted to the tried and tested glass of fizzy (and very nice it is too!). We're going out for a celebratory dinner shortly, but I think there is room for reflection too, given what's happened over the past year. Time to think about what is precious and valuable to us, perhaps.
I do feel as if I have been holding my breath for the past goodness knows how long and finally, finally I can let it out. It's a good feeling.
Live life, love life.
(any spelling or grammatical errors are the result of unaccustomed intake of alcohol!)
Wednesday, 8 February 2012
Good things, bad things, good things, bad things.....
One of the side-effects of being ill and the various treatments I've had is that I lost interest in a lot of things I had previously been very involved with: activities for my professional institute, church life, pretty much anything outward looking. I seemed to retreat within my little safe haven of home-hospital-GP for quite a few months.
I knew I was on the road to recovery when I started feeling an interest in things again. I've been along to a committee meeting for our regional conference, for example, and am off to another institute meeting this afternoon. I'm thinking of going on a course offered by my church, which might help me understand what on earth I am supposed to do as an Elder!! I'm also hoping to volunteer half a day a week at the Orpheus Centre, where our daughter works. I need to structure my weeks now, otherwise there's a (strong) risk I will fritter my time away and get to Friday afternoon with no noticeable achievements from the week! I also hope to return to part-time work - although it's a bit quiet out there at the moment!
One way I have been spending my time, and which I am very excited about, is helping with the charity that's being set up to support people with facial palsy, whatever the cause. We hosted a small meeting at our house on Saturday, where we discussed what we would expect to find on the website from our perspective as users of the charity. People travelled some distance to come to this meeting, from Portsmouth in the case of one couple, so there's obviously a lot of passion and interest in this. It felt good to be with other people who understand what it's like to feel "different" and to know that no one in the room was thinking that my face looked a bit odd, because we all had some degree of facial palsy - and all from a number of different causes, which makes each of us unique, I guess, and means we learn from each other too. Our lovely speech therapist, who specialises in patients with palsy, gave up a big chunk of her Saturday to come to the meeting and keep us on track, for which we are immensely grateful! It felt good to see everyone getting enthusiastic and excited about what we might be able to achieve - it made me feel good, for sure!
The weekend brought some snow - not a huge amount and it started thawing fairly quickly but it's still lingering. I went out on Saturday afternoon into Oxted to have a cuppa with a friend and as I was leaving our house (before the snow started), I glanced over at my car, which was parked at the top of our drive in front of Neil's and Amy's car. I thought "Hmm...that front tyre looks a bit deflated", toddled off for my hot chocolate (no cream or marshmallows - perish the thought!) and by the time I came back an hour or so later, the tyre was more than just "a bit" deflated. It was totally flat! So poor Neil had to spend a part of Sunday wrestling with the wheel nuts, which proved pretty recalcitrant, and putting on my spare. It's one of those restricted speed ones, so I need to get myself off to a Kwikfit at some point.
We woke up to a white world on Sunday, which meant that the visiting preacher to our church couldn't get there. Nor could many of our congregation, so those of us within walking distance (or who had 4x4s!) made it along, lined up our wellies by the door, and a Dunkirk Spirit type service was held. It was rather nice, actually. I was helping serve communion and had to read something out, which is always good to remind me that I *can* speak in public, especially amongst friends.
Later that Sunday, our friend Jonathan came round for dinner and to stay overnight. We have done some walking and climbing with him on the North Downs and Kili, and Neil has done some other climbs with him, so we spent some time going through our book on The Munros and planning a trip to God's own country to "bag" some of them.
Monday brought my big PET CT scan at the Marsden. I was a bit anxious about driving in the snow, as my little sporty car is not the best kind of vehicle for snow and ice, but I had asked Neil to come with me to get the scan results, rather than for the scan itself, and didn't want to ask him to take time off work, although I know he would gladly have done so had I needed him. However, some kind friends at church offered to take me so there was one less thing for me to worry about - thank you, David, for giving up pretty much all of your Monday to take me there and back. Poor man, he had to wait nigh on four hours for me. His paper was read from cover to cover!
I went to an exercise class on Monday night with Amy and to Zumba yesterday morning, then to meet a friend for (more) hot chocolate and a catch-up. In the afternoon, we had a service of thanksgiving for an amazing woman who went to my church. She died just over a week ago at the age of 93 and until about two years ago, when physical frailty set in, she was still striding briskly to the top of the North Downs with her beloved dog at her side. The service was one of the most joyous I have ever been to, with so much about her insatiable zest for life and her determination to squeeze every last drop from every opportunity - a superb example of how I'd like to live my life.
I feel anxious about Friday but want to have some certainty about whether I still have nasty stuff to deal with so that I can process it. I am praying it will be good news, but feel I need to know just what the position is, rather than be constantly wondering (and worrying). I am totally deaf in my left ear and have been for about two weeks and that, coupled with the lack of peripheral vision in my left eye, leaves me feeling quite vulnerable on that side of my body. I don't normally get nervous walking on my own in the (winter) dark but I confess to feeling a bit more exposed than I would like. I do sometimes get some "clarity" in my left ear, usually when doing exercise, so I am hoping that this is temporary and caused by a build up of wax which has nowhere to go because I am still quite swollen internally from radiotherapy. I certainly don't want anyone poking about in my ear right now!
So, good things and bad things this week. Good things - celebrating yesterday the fact that Neil and I have been married exactly half my life. He has been my rock and loving support through everything and especially during the last harrowing and difficult 12 months. Other good things - the kindness of friends, the energy and enthusiasm of our meeting on Saturday, the sense that we can make a difference for ourselves and others through this charity. Bad things - the constant, nagging worry about Friday's results, the vulnerability I feel because of hearing and sight impairment and the knowledge that I can't influence outcomes.
Roll on Friday.
I knew I was on the road to recovery when I started feeling an interest in things again. I've been along to a committee meeting for our regional conference, for example, and am off to another institute meeting this afternoon. I'm thinking of going on a course offered by my church, which might help me understand what on earth I am supposed to do as an Elder!! I'm also hoping to volunteer half a day a week at the Orpheus Centre, where our daughter works. I need to structure my weeks now, otherwise there's a (strong) risk I will fritter my time away and get to Friday afternoon with no noticeable achievements from the week! I also hope to return to part-time work - although it's a bit quiet out there at the moment!
One way I have been spending my time, and which I am very excited about, is helping with the charity that's being set up to support people with facial palsy, whatever the cause. We hosted a small meeting at our house on Saturday, where we discussed what we would expect to find on the website from our perspective as users of the charity. People travelled some distance to come to this meeting, from Portsmouth in the case of one couple, so there's obviously a lot of passion and interest in this. It felt good to be with other people who understand what it's like to feel "different" and to know that no one in the room was thinking that my face looked a bit odd, because we all had some degree of facial palsy - and all from a number of different causes, which makes each of us unique, I guess, and means we learn from each other too. Our lovely speech therapist, who specialises in patients with palsy, gave up a big chunk of her Saturday to come to the meeting and keep us on track, for which we are immensely grateful! It felt good to see everyone getting enthusiastic and excited about what we might be able to achieve - it made me feel good, for sure!
The weekend brought some snow - not a huge amount and it started thawing fairly quickly but it's still lingering. I went out on Saturday afternoon into Oxted to have a cuppa with a friend and as I was leaving our house (before the snow started), I glanced over at my car, which was parked at the top of our drive in front of Neil's and Amy's car. I thought "Hmm...that front tyre looks a bit deflated", toddled off for my hot chocolate (no cream or marshmallows - perish the thought!) and by the time I came back an hour or so later, the tyre was more than just "a bit" deflated. It was totally flat! So poor Neil had to spend a part of Sunday wrestling with the wheel nuts, which proved pretty recalcitrant, and putting on my spare. It's one of those restricted speed ones, so I need to get myself off to a Kwikfit at some point.
We woke up to a white world on Sunday, which meant that the visiting preacher to our church couldn't get there. Nor could many of our congregation, so those of us within walking distance (or who had 4x4s!) made it along, lined up our wellies by the door, and a Dunkirk Spirit type service was held. It was rather nice, actually. I was helping serve communion and had to read something out, which is always good to remind me that I *can* speak in public, especially amongst friends.
Later that Sunday, our friend Jonathan came round for dinner and to stay overnight. We have done some walking and climbing with him on the North Downs and Kili, and Neil has done some other climbs with him, so we spent some time going through our book on The Munros and planning a trip to God's own country to "bag" some of them.
Monday brought my big PET CT scan at the Marsden. I was a bit anxious about driving in the snow, as my little sporty car is not the best kind of vehicle for snow and ice, but I had asked Neil to come with me to get the scan results, rather than for the scan itself, and didn't want to ask him to take time off work, although I know he would gladly have done so had I needed him. However, some kind friends at church offered to take me so there was one less thing for me to worry about - thank you, David, for giving up pretty much all of your Monday to take me there and back. Poor man, he had to wait nigh on four hours for me. His paper was read from cover to cover!
I went to an exercise class on Monday night with Amy and to Zumba yesterday morning, then to meet a friend for (more) hot chocolate and a catch-up. In the afternoon, we had a service of thanksgiving for an amazing woman who went to my church. She died just over a week ago at the age of 93 and until about two years ago, when physical frailty set in, she was still striding briskly to the top of the North Downs with her beloved dog at her side. The service was one of the most joyous I have ever been to, with so much about her insatiable zest for life and her determination to squeeze every last drop from every opportunity - a superb example of how I'd like to live my life.
I feel anxious about Friday but want to have some certainty about whether I still have nasty stuff to deal with so that I can process it. I am praying it will be good news, but feel I need to know just what the position is, rather than be constantly wondering (and worrying). I am totally deaf in my left ear and have been for about two weeks and that, coupled with the lack of peripheral vision in my left eye, leaves me feeling quite vulnerable on that side of my body. I don't normally get nervous walking on my own in the (winter) dark but I confess to feeling a bit more exposed than I would like. I do sometimes get some "clarity" in my left ear, usually when doing exercise, so I am hoping that this is temporary and caused by a build up of wax which has nowhere to go because I am still quite swollen internally from radiotherapy. I certainly don't want anyone poking about in my ear right now!
So, good things and bad things this week. Good things - celebrating yesterday the fact that Neil and I have been married exactly half my life. He has been my rock and loving support through everything and especially during the last harrowing and difficult 12 months. Other good things - the kindness of friends, the energy and enthusiasm of our meeting on Saturday, the sense that we can make a difference for ourselves and others through this charity. Bad things - the constant, nagging worry about Friday's results, the vulnerability I feel because of hearing and sight impairment and the knowledge that I can't influence outcomes.
Roll on Friday.
Monday, 30 January 2012
Come in Beyonce, but could you take your shoes off, please?
Now then, the big news around here towards the end of last week was that Beyonce and Jay-Z were allegedly moving to these here parts. Apparently where we live is known as "The Beverly Hills of the UK" - this is news to us and obviously whichever journalist coined that phrase hasn't been to our local Weatherspoons on a Friday night in term-time, when the cream of local youth are indulging!
It was a bit surreal to see our little town on the ITV London/South-East news, interviewing people we knew and panning over the fields around the town. The last time we featured so much on the news was when Princess Diana and Dodi Al-Fayed died, as Mohammed Al-Fayed lives on the outskirts of the town - well, I say "lives" - he has a property surrounded by a massive security fence, with guard dogs prowling around the perimeter fence and doesn't spend more than 90 days in the UK per year for tax purposes. It's not as if he pops in to his neighbours on a regular basis for a cup of tea and a fondant fancy, is it?
Anyway, to get back to Beyonce. Of course, this was all nonsense. There's nowhere that would have the kind of security possible for someone of her fame and, in any case, it would completely change our little town, having loads of fans descending upon us. Let's face it, the coffee shops just wouldn't be able to cope with this extra influx of customers, although the charity shops might be quite gleeful about the possibility of getting Beyonce's cast-offs to sell :-) How did it all start? I have it on good authority (Facebook!) that this originated from a family discussion over dinner one night last week where the question was asked about how easy it would be to make people believe something quite unbelievable, using the power of social media. Cue a tweet and the next thing you know, there are tv crews descending on the town. Isn't it just incredible how a single comment can grow exponentially to become a "true story"? It turns out that we know the family where this story was born....not saying who they are, though!
What else has happened since I last posted? I've been quite busy catching up with friends. One friend came over for lunch last Tuesday - I hadn't seen him for about a year and a half, during which time he has had a hip replacement and I've had my various treatments, so we were laughing about being a couple of old crocks as he hirpled into Oxted with me and my wonky face :-) On Wednesday, I had a full day up in London, starting off with meeting an old colleague and friend for lunch, then travelling on the tube to my Institute HQ, where I caught up over tea and cake with another friend and then attended a meeting of the organising committee for summer conference. It felt really good to be involved again - I have been part of this committee for 10 years and chaired it for 8 years until I stepped down in 2010 (it's almost as if I knew I'd be out of action in 2011, isn't it? Spooky!). Last year I couldn't be very involved at all, although my lovely fellow committee members trekked out to Oxted one evening to hold a meeting at Sweeting Towers, just so I could still feel part of it all. Truly lovely, kind people. This year, I am able to take a much more active part in things and it was so refreshing to be bouncing ideas around with everyone and building on work already done. Every year, we support a charity and hold various fund-raising events, usually raising a few hundred pounds over the course of the conference. We've supported the British Paralympics Association, Macmillan, Breast Cancer Care and Diabetes UK over the past few years. One of our agenda items was to nominate and discuss charities for this year's conference. Thanks to my supportive committee friends, we have decided that this year we will support a new charity, set up last year and currently the only one in the UK specifically to support people with facial palsy: Facial Palsy UK. I feel very honoured that we have chosen to support this group, from which I direcly benefit, and also humbled at the generosity of spirit of my fellow committee members, several of whom I'm sure had charities they feel passionate about but who were happy to say immediately that we would support my suggestion. I love these guys!
After the committee meeting, some of us went for a meal, so it was a long time out for me and involved several tube journeys, all of which I coped with fine. My lovely husband asked me to text him and let him know what train I was on and when I emerged from the train at our station, there he was, waiting to walk me home - what a star!
And so to Thursday, and another lunch up in London (I am such a lady who lunches nowadays - how will I keep my social life going once I return to work? It's going to be difficult...). This time I was meeting with two friends, one of whom had come over to see me in September and the other, someone I hadn't seen for over a year. We were lunching at the Royal Thames Yacht Club in Knightsbridge (how posh is that?!) and we had a lovely time, sitting in the dining room overlooking Hyde Park, watching the runners and walkers out in the wintry sunshine. Great food and great conversation. It was really encouraging that Tony, who had seen me in September, could see a real improvement in my face and even I, trying to be objective rather than critical and pessimistic, can see that there is much more movement on the left side of my face than I had a few months ago. Of course, it's all relative and I'm still a long, long way from having a properly animated face on that side, but it's good to know that there is some nerve regeneration and that the exercises and electrode stimulation are having some effect.
Since Thursday, life has been much quieter and Oxted-centred, although I had an interview on Friday morning about doing some volunteer work at Orpheus Centre, where Amy works. I've filled in my CRB form and need to wait for an enhanced CRB check to be carried out, so I won't be able to start there for a little while yet. Apart from this, my time has been spent doing domestic stuff - shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry etc. I seem to be turning into a right little Hausfrau. Next thing I know, I will be stencilling "Kinder, Kuche, Kirche" on the kitchen wall...or maybe not! I'm still trying to keep my exercise regime going: last week I did an exercise class, zumba and gym and tonight I am off to an exercise class with Amy, with zumba tomorrow and Thursday and some gym sessions at some point. I have speech therapy on Thursday afternoon and I am hoping my speech therapist will be pleased with my progress - it feels almost like going to a school parents' evening!
This has been a mammoth post, so I shall end it with my usual thanks to everyone for your support and thoughts and, as always, with my best love to Neil, Amy and Adam.
It was a bit surreal to see our little town on the ITV London/South-East news, interviewing people we knew and panning over the fields around the town. The last time we featured so much on the news was when Princess Diana and Dodi Al-Fayed died, as Mohammed Al-Fayed lives on the outskirts of the town - well, I say "lives" - he has a property surrounded by a massive security fence, with guard dogs prowling around the perimeter fence and doesn't spend more than 90 days in the UK per year for tax purposes. It's not as if he pops in to his neighbours on a regular basis for a cup of tea and a fondant fancy, is it?
Anyway, to get back to Beyonce. Of course, this was all nonsense. There's nowhere that would have the kind of security possible for someone of her fame and, in any case, it would completely change our little town, having loads of fans descending upon us. Let's face it, the coffee shops just wouldn't be able to cope with this extra influx of customers, although the charity shops might be quite gleeful about the possibility of getting Beyonce's cast-offs to sell :-) How did it all start? I have it on good authority (Facebook!) that this originated from a family discussion over dinner one night last week where the question was asked about how easy it would be to make people believe something quite unbelievable, using the power of social media. Cue a tweet and the next thing you know, there are tv crews descending on the town. Isn't it just incredible how a single comment can grow exponentially to become a "true story"? It turns out that we know the family where this story was born....not saying who they are, though!
What else has happened since I last posted? I've been quite busy catching up with friends. One friend came over for lunch last Tuesday - I hadn't seen him for about a year and a half, during which time he has had a hip replacement and I've had my various treatments, so we were laughing about being a couple of old crocks as he hirpled into Oxted with me and my wonky face :-) On Wednesday, I had a full day up in London, starting off with meeting an old colleague and friend for lunch, then travelling on the tube to my Institute HQ, where I caught up over tea and cake with another friend and then attended a meeting of the organising committee for summer conference. It felt really good to be involved again - I have been part of this committee for 10 years and chaired it for 8 years until I stepped down in 2010 (it's almost as if I knew I'd be out of action in 2011, isn't it? Spooky!). Last year I couldn't be very involved at all, although my lovely fellow committee members trekked out to Oxted one evening to hold a meeting at Sweeting Towers, just so I could still feel part of it all. Truly lovely, kind people. This year, I am able to take a much more active part in things and it was so refreshing to be bouncing ideas around with everyone and building on work already done. Every year, we support a charity and hold various fund-raising events, usually raising a few hundred pounds over the course of the conference. We've supported the British Paralympics Association, Macmillan, Breast Cancer Care and Diabetes UK over the past few years. One of our agenda items was to nominate and discuss charities for this year's conference. Thanks to my supportive committee friends, we have decided that this year we will support a new charity, set up last year and currently the only one in the UK specifically to support people with facial palsy: Facial Palsy UK. I feel very honoured that we have chosen to support this group, from which I direcly benefit, and also humbled at the generosity of spirit of my fellow committee members, several of whom I'm sure had charities they feel passionate about but who were happy to say immediately that we would support my suggestion. I love these guys!
After the committee meeting, some of us went for a meal, so it was a long time out for me and involved several tube journeys, all of which I coped with fine. My lovely husband asked me to text him and let him know what train I was on and when I emerged from the train at our station, there he was, waiting to walk me home - what a star!
And so to Thursday, and another lunch up in London (I am such a lady who lunches nowadays - how will I keep my social life going once I return to work? It's going to be difficult...). This time I was meeting with two friends, one of whom had come over to see me in September and the other, someone I hadn't seen for over a year. We were lunching at the Royal Thames Yacht Club in Knightsbridge (how posh is that?!) and we had a lovely time, sitting in the dining room overlooking Hyde Park, watching the runners and walkers out in the wintry sunshine. Great food and great conversation. It was really encouraging that Tony, who had seen me in September, could see a real improvement in my face and even I, trying to be objective rather than critical and pessimistic, can see that there is much more movement on the left side of my face than I had a few months ago. Of course, it's all relative and I'm still a long, long way from having a properly animated face on that side, but it's good to know that there is some nerve regeneration and that the exercises and electrode stimulation are having some effect.
Since Thursday, life has been much quieter and Oxted-centred, although I had an interview on Friday morning about doing some volunteer work at Orpheus Centre, where Amy works. I've filled in my CRB form and need to wait for an enhanced CRB check to be carried out, so I won't be able to start there for a little while yet. Apart from this, my time has been spent doing domestic stuff - shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry etc. I seem to be turning into a right little Hausfrau. Next thing I know, I will be stencilling "Kinder, Kuche, Kirche" on the kitchen wall...or maybe not! I'm still trying to keep my exercise regime going: last week I did an exercise class, zumba and gym and tonight I am off to an exercise class with Amy, with zumba tomorrow and Thursday and some gym sessions at some point. I have speech therapy on Thursday afternoon and I am hoping my speech therapist will be pleased with my progress - it feels almost like going to a school parents' evening!
This has been a mammoth post, so I shall end it with my usual thanks to everyone for your support and thoughts and, as always, with my best love to Neil, Amy and Adam.
Monday, 23 January 2012
I just can't wait....to be King!
After the relief of Friday's scan results, it was a case of full steam ahead for the busy weekend. And boy, was it busy!
On Saturday morning there was a meeting of the Facial Palsy support group, at East Grinstead Hospital. This is a new charity that has been set up and the support group is for people like me, who have facial palsy caused by any reason, to meet a few times a year, share experiences, have speakers, provide support and get the chance to feel that you don't look terribly different from anyone else in the room! Because this is a new group, some people have to travel quite a distance to get to the meetings - there was someone there on Saturday who had travelled from Portsmouth, for example. It makes me realise, once more, how lucky I am to be in the South East of England and near both East Grinstead and the Royal Marsden hospitals. Imagine if I lived in Glasgow and couldn't get along to any support group - I think I would feel just that bit more isolated.
Anyway, back to the meeting. This was the third meeting of the support group and the second Neil and I had attended. At the previous one, in September, I had been fairly quiet (unlike me, I know!) as I wanted to get a feel for the meeting first. However, this time it felt a lot more relaxed to me and I even led a discussion session, having discussed with my speech therapist, who very kindly, along with a colleague, gives up a big chunk of her Saturday to enable this support group to happen. I have to say, it felt good to be at the front of a group, leading a discussion and getting people to work in small groups and then give feedback - almost like being back at work! Perhaps it's because I didn't feel remotely self-conscious about how I looked, because everyone there had some degree of facial palsy.
We were trying to explore ways to make our newsletter and blog come to life a bit more and be useful sources of support and information for us, so we've now got a list of different things to investigate and experiment with. I've volunteered to become more involved with the blog and newsletter and also to take part in a brainstorming session to review the charity's website - what would we, the people whom the charity was set up to help, like to see on there? Because it will be a small group of people working on this, rather than the full support group, Neil and I offered to host this brainstorming session in our home - it's more comfortable and it "demedicalises" things by removing us from the hospital environment. It's also a good discipline to tidy up!
All in all, I felt it was a very useful meeting and of course, getting more involved makes me feel that I can be useful myself and give something back. One of the other members of the group lives quite nearby, so we plan to meet some time for a cup of tea and a chat.
On Saturday evening, Neil and I had been invited to a Burns' Supper at the home of some friends. Agnes, the hostess, is a fantastic cook and whenever we go to their house, she and Russell make us so welcome that the evening always flies by and before you know it, you are glancing at your watch and realise, with a shock, that it's nearly one in the morning! The evening lived up to expectations - the food was wonderful (and plentiful) and we all took turns reading some Burns' poetry. Russell's address to the haggis was superb - much better than my stumbling attempts to read some of Tam O'Shanter! Regardless of nationality (there was a mix of Scots, English and Welsh there), we all tackled some Burns and a great evening was had by all - and yes, when I glanced at my watch, it was nearly one in the morning!
Isn't it great to have a Christmas present in January? When the days feel endlessly dark, it's a long time till the next bank holiday, it's cold and all you want to do is make soup and eat stodge (okay, that last bit might be just me!).....I think January can be quite a depressing month. So, having had such a good Saturday, it was just fabulous to be going up to London with Neil to see the stage version of The Lion King. I loved the film and we had seen the mini version staged at Animal Kingdom in Floriday, but I had wanted to see the full stage version for a long time. Neil got tickets for us both as part of my Christmas present, so he and I set off to the matinee performance yesterday.
It more than lived up to expectations - I'm not sure I can find enough superlatives to describe it, to be honest! It was colourful, a real spectacle, brilliant costumes and sets, great singing and such a good story! Lots of humour (Rafiki, Timon and Pumbaa were superb!) and unexpected touches, like the animals coming down the aisles of the stalls so we could see them go past on their way to the stage. I have to confess that I was crying as soon as the show started, just because I had been looking forward for so long to being there (soppy sod or what!). We both loved the show and, because we had gone to the matinee performance, we had plenty time to find a restaurant afterwards and have a leisurely meal before returning home.
A good weekend, then! I've had a quieter day today, doing some domestic stuff and posting a parcel to Adam with all the clothes he forgot to take with him when he returned to uni last week. I'm off to the gym later with Amy as I have been a bit lax about exercise since my successful summit of Skiddaw last week - I can't rest on my laurels any longer!
No hospital appointments for a fortnight, when I will then have my PET CT scan, so I plan to use the next two weeks to get more paperwork sorted out and to catch up with people (three lunch dates this week - how will I ever find time to return to work?!). At least if I try to keep busy, it might stop me fretting about the scan - that's the plan, anyway!
On Saturday morning there was a meeting of the Facial Palsy support group, at East Grinstead Hospital. This is a new charity that has been set up and the support group is for people like me, who have facial palsy caused by any reason, to meet a few times a year, share experiences, have speakers, provide support and get the chance to feel that you don't look terribly different from anyone else in the room! Because this is a new group, some people have to travel quite a distance to get to the meetings - there was someone there on Saturday who had travelled from Portsmouth, for example. It makes me realise, once more, how lucky I am to be in the South East of England and near both East Grinstead and the Royal Marsden hospitals. Imagine if I lived in Glasgow and couldn't get along to any support group - I think I would feel just that bit more isolated.
Anyway, back to the meeting. This was the third meeting of the support group and the second Neil and I had attended. At the previous one, in September, I had been fairly quiet (unlike me, I know!) as I wanted to get a feel for the meeting first. However, this time it felt a lot more relaxed to me and I even led a discussion session, having discussed with my speech therapist, who very kindly, along with a colleague, gives up a big chunk of her Saturday to enable this support group to happen. I have to say, it felt good to be at the front of a group, leading a discussion and getting people to work in small groups and then give feedback - almost like being back at work! Perhaps it's because I didn't feel remotely self-conscious about how I looked, because everyone there had some degree of facial palsy.
We were trying to explore ways to make our newsletter and blog come to life a bit more and be useful sources of support and information for us, so we've now got a list of different things to investigate and experiment with. I've volunteered to become more involved with the blog and newsletter and also to take part in a brainstorming session to review the charity's website - what would we, the people whom the charity was set up to help, like to see on there? Because it will be a small group of people working on this, rather than the full support group, Neil and I offered to host this brainstorming session in our home - it's more comfortable and it "demedicalises" things by removing us from the hospital environment. It's also a good discipline to tidy up!
All in all, I felt it was a very useful meeting and of course, getting more involved makes me feel that I can be useful myself and give something back. One of the other members of the group lives quite nearby, so we plan to meet some time for a cup of tea and a chat.
On Saturday evening, Neil and I had been invited to a Burns' Supper at the home of some friends. Agnes, the hostess, is a fantastic cook and whenever we go to their house, she and Russell make us so welcome that the evening always flies by and before you know it, you are glancing at your watch and realise, with a shock, that it's nearly one in the morning! The evening lived up to expectations - the food was wonderful (and plentiful) and we all took turns reading some Burns' poetry. Russell's address to the haggis was superb - much better than my stumbling attempts to read some of Tam O'Shanter! Regardless of nationality (there was a mix of Scots, English and Welsh there), we all tackled some Burns and a great evening was had by all - and yes, when I glanced at my watch, it was nearly one in the morning!
Isn't it great to have a Christmas present in January? When the days feel endlessly dark, it's a long time till the next bank holiday, it's cold and all you want to do is make soup and eat stodge (okay, that last bit might be just me!).....I think January can be quite a depressing month. So, having had such a good Saturday, it was just fabulous to be going up to London with Neil to see the stage version of The Lion King. I loved the film and we had seen the mini version staged at Animal Kingdom in Floriday, but I had wanted to see the full stage version for a long time. Neil got tickets for us both as part of my Christmas present, so he and I set off to the matinee performance yesterday.
It more than lived up to expectations - I'm not sure I can find enough superlatives to describe it, to be honest! It was colourful, a real spectacle, brilliant costumes and sets, great singing and such a good story! Lots of humour (Rafiki, Timon and Pumbaa were superb!) and unexpected touches, like the animals coming down the aisles of the stalls so we could see them go past on their way to the stage. I have to confess that I was crying as soon as the show started, just because I had been looking forward for so long to being there (soppy sod or what!). We both loved the show and, because we had gone to the matinee performance, we had plenty time to find a restaurant afterwards and have a leisurely meal before returning home.
A good weekend, then! I've had a quieter day today, doing some domestic stuff and posting a parcel to Adam with all the clothes he forgot to take with him when he returned to uni last week. I'm off to the gym later with Amy as I have been a bit lax about exercise since my successful summit of Skiddaw last week - I can't rest on my laurels any longer!
No hospital appointments for a fortnight, when I will then have my PET CT scan, so I plan to use the next two weeks to get more paperwork sorted out and to catch up with people (three lunch dates this week - how will I ever find time to return to work?!). At least if I try to keep busy, it might stop me fretting about the scan - that's the plan, anyway!
Friday, 20 January 2012
Oh yes!
Quick update on my visit to hospital today.....
Appointment was for 11 o'clock, so I trundled up to the Reception desk at about quarter to 11, thinking it might be like last week, when I had barely sat down before I was summoned by the nurse. Sadly, this week was totally different. I sat down, started reading and then, after about half an hour, one of the receptionists announced over the PA system that my clinic was running approximately 45 minutes late. Well, we all know that what that really means is that it will be at least an hour after your appointment time before you are seen! I don't have a problem with this, because I always think that doctors should feel they can spend as much time with a patient as they need to, without worrying about keeping other patients waiting. I might be that patient who needs extra time with the doctor one day and I wouldn't like to think the doctor had to hurry through my consultation just in case other patients got....well, impatient!
The problem with waiting today was that I was a bit anxious about getting my scan results from last week, so waiting even just a tiny bit longer was making me a little antsy! I managed to text Neil a couple of times and he calmed me down, told me to get a cup of tea and to try to relax. I did my best to, with reasonable success.
I finally got called through at about quarter to one. First off, I have to be weighed to check I am not losing any more weight - I'm not. I seem to have stabilised, which is good. Then I was shown into the little consultation room to wait for the consultant. Luckily for my blood pressure, she was with me within a couple of minutes and obviously realised that I needed to be told the outcome of the scan very quickly, because as soon as we had said "hello" to each other, she said "Good news - the scan was clear" - phew! I know that the likelihood was that it would be, but it was great to have it confirmed officially and to let that nagging worry drain away. Next milestone is the PET CT scan on Monday 6th February, which will be reviewed at the MDT on Wednesday 8th and the results given to me on Friday 10th. This is the biggie - the one which would show up any microscopic nasty cells which might not be spotted in a CT scan, ultrasound or physical examination. Fingers, toes and eyes all crossed for that one!
Today was the farewell to the colleague from Tower Hamlets, whom I mentioned a couple of weeks ago. I wasn't able to go to it - and to be honest, I don't feel I knew him well enough to turn up and it might seem a bit macabre - but I had a quiet moment when I thought about him and his family and the new reality to which they are now adjusting.
The rest of the day passed off uneventfully, with a trip to Ikea (delayed from last week!) and a cup of tea and slice of millionaire shortbread to celebrate my news, in the company of my minister.
Life is precious and I really, really appreciate mine. Today's news just emphasised how much I want to live as healthily and long as possible (not that there was any doubt, but I'm sure you know what I mean!). Rubbing shoulders with your own mortality reinforces the desire for life and makes you realise just how much richness you have in your family and friends. I feel very blessed with the people I have in my life.
Appointment was for 11 o'clock, so I trundled up to the Reception desk at about quarter to 11, thinking it might be like last week, when I had barely sat down before I was summoned by the nurse. Sadly, this week was totally different. I sat down, started reading and then, after about half an hour, one of the receptionists announced over the PA system that my clinic was running approximately 45 minutes late. Well, we all know that what that really means is that it will be at least an hour after your appointment time before you are seen! I don't have a problem with this, because I always think that doctors should feel they can spend as much time with a patient as they need to, without worrying about keeping other patients waiting. I might be that patient who needs extra time with the doctor one day and I wouldn't like to think the doctor had to hurry through my consultation just in case other patients got....well, impatient!
The problem with waiting today was that I was a bit anxious about getting my scan results from last week, so waiting even just a tiny bit longer was making me a little antsy! I managed to text Neil a couple of times and he calmed me down, told me to get a cup of tea and to try to relax. I did my best to, with reasonable success.
I finally got called through at about quarter to one. First off, I have to be weighed to check I am not losing any more weight - I'm not. I seem to have stabilised, which is good. Then I was shown into the little consultation room to wait for the consultant. Luckily for my blood pressure, she was with me within a couple of minutes and obviously realised that I needed to be told the outcome of the scan very quickly, because as soon as we had said "hello" to each other, she said "Good news - the scan was clear" - phew! I know that the likelihood was that it would be, but it was great to have it confirmed officially and to let that nagging worry drain away. Next milestone is the PET CT scan on Monday 6th February, which will be reviewed at the MDT on Wednesday 8th and the results given to me on Friday 10th. This is the biggie - the one which would show up any microscopic nasty cells which might not be spotted in a CT scan, ultrasound or physical examination. Fingers, toes and eyes all crossed for that one!
Today was the farewell to the colleague from Tower Hamlets, whom I mentioned a couple of weeks ago. I wasn't able to go to it - and to be honest, I don't feel I knew him well enough to turn up and it might seem a bit macabre - but I had a quiet moment when I thought about him and his family and the new reality to which they are now adjusting.
The rest of the day passed off uneventfully, with a trip to Ikea (delayed from last week!) and a cup of tea and slice of millionaire shortbread to celebrate my news, in the company of my minister.
Life is precious and I really, really appreciate mine. Today's news just emphasised how much I want to live as healthily and long as possible (not that there was any doubt, but I'm sure you know what I mean!). Rubbing shoulders with your own mortality reinforces the desire for life and makes you realise just how much richness you have in your family and friends. I feel very blessed with the people I have in my life.
Tuesday, 17 January 2012
So there was this big mountain........
It's now four days since I last blogged about my great day out and then my not so great visit to hospital. Lots to report since then!
On Friday evening, Neil and I talked about what had happened at hospital that day and the reality that it's entirely possible that this nasty disease could make a return at some point. We needed to have a talk about it. I think I said before that it's the big elephant in the room, which we have been knowingly, casually, ignoring for some months. We acknowledged the elephant and what impact it might have...only in vague, tearful terms, but at least we did. I think it did us good to recognise the possibility, although we both obviously hope and pray that it remains a possibility, not a reality.
We had a big weekend planned, starting with a trip to Glasgow on Saturday to visit my mum, who had moved into her (permanent) care home three days before. She was diagnosed with dementia late last year and had been in hospital for a couple of months, so we wanted to see her in her new surroundings. It was the first time she would have seen me since my surgery and, given that the last time I saw her, she didn't recognise me (and that was before my face changed!), I was none too hopeful about her reaction. In the event, she was much better than I expected. She struggled with names (including my brother who died a couple of years ago, whom she looked after for about 13 years on her own and whom she used to talk about all the time, so that was an indication of how much she struggles with some aspects), but realised I had been ill and asked how I was and said, when we left her, that she hoped it all went well for me. Yes, it was a bit vague and non-specific, but at least I felt that she had some interest in my health. We had taken Adam with us, as we were dropping him off in Carlisle for his new uni term, so my mum got to see him too. I felt very relieved that she was better than I had expected her to be - less frail than I thought (although still very thin), but with a bit of a spark that I thought might have been missing. Put it this way, she has a healthy paranoia about being in residential care!
We had arranged to spend the night with a very dear running friend of mine, Karen, who lives about 40 minutes outside Glasgow and I had managed to arrange to call in on another very dear friend (known her for over 40 years!), Morag, who lives 20 minutes outside Glasgow and fortuitously en route to Karen's! There were four of us who were a really tight little group at school and Fiona, who lives in Newcastle, was also up in Glasgow at the weekend, so she arranged to call in at Mo's at the same time as we did, so a happy little reunion took place. Our fourth member, Lindsey, lives in Canada, so it was a bit short notice for her to get over! We had a good old blether (Adam, of course, was totally bored by our chatter until Mo got out some (very!) old photos of us from SU camp and school days, when he was able to scoff at our clothes and hairstyles. Truly, the 70s is the decade that taste forgot!). It was great for Neil to meet my old friends - he had met Fi once, but many years ago and both of them had pretty much forgotten about it and he had never met Mo.
After a few cups of tea and pieces of cake, we made our way to Karen's, where an equally warm welcome from Karen and her lovely girls Eleanor and Gwen awaited us. Another running friend was there too and we had a fantastic, relaxed evening, chatting over dinner and then relaxing next to a roaring log fire. We were pretty tired after such an early start, so it wasn't very long before Neil, Adam and I took ourselves off to bed. Neil, being a lovely, kind husband, had done all the driving so I could be fresh for seeing my mum and my friends. I know he realised that I was a bit apprehensive about seeing my mum and how she might react and also that I would have some low-level anxiety about seeing my friends with my new face, so he made it as easy as possible for me to be relaxed. I know my friends don't give a fig what I look like, but it's hard to banish the anxiety altogether. I think, in the end, that Mo, Fi, Karen and David thought I looked better than I had led them to expect!
Sunday now, and we set off from Karen's to drop Adam off in Carlisle, via a trip to Tesco to stock up his fridge and cupboards! All parents reading this will be familiar with this procedure, I'm sure.....It was easier, although still difficult, to say goodbye to Adam this time. In September, I was a bit of a tearful wreck, leaving my "baby" in a place so far from home, worrying about how he would settle in, whether he would make friends, whether he would work hard enough! Perhaps, also, there was an extra dimension to my tears because Adam had been through all the stages of my illness, from my finding the lumps in the first place, through the diagnosis, treatment, the very low points and the gradual, slow recovery. This time, it wasn't so bad, although of course the timing wasn't so great, given the slight upset at hospital on Friday - another of life's little ironies, eh? At least this time, I left him with people who are now friends (we were even allowed to meet his best mate, Kirsty!)and with enough food to last at least a fortnight.
Neil and I had decided to take advantage of being up in the north-west of England to spend a couple of days in the Lake District. He spent some evenings researching hotels and booked us into a fabulous hotel (the Ravenstone at Bassenthwaite, if anyone is looking for a good hotel for a walking holiday) for two nights. It was just perfect - wonderful views from our room, very friendly staff, great food, log fire in the bar and a coal fire in the lounge, the biggest selection of board, card and other games I have ever seen, snooker and pool tables...really, you needed a couple of weeks just to work through the games! We had planned to try and walk up Skiddaw, but I had reserved various rights; firstly, the right to say it might be too much, second, the right to go as slowly as a snail and third, the right to grumble and whine every step of the way :-) Of course, Neil had no problem with any of these reserved rights but in the event, I didn't need to invoke any of them because (oh yes, dear reader!) I managed it! We did a small walk on Sunday, just down to Bassenthwaite lake and back, which took a couple of hours and then on Monday, after a huge breakfast, we set off to climb Ullack Pike and then Skiddaw. It was a gloriously sunny, wintry day, with no clouds in the sky and no rain or snow forecast....unusual for the Lakes in January, I think! On the exposed ridge, the wind funnelled through between the peaks and blimey, was it cold and strong! At one point, I had to crouch down because I genuinely thought I might be blown off the mountain....well, I have lost a lot of weight, you know ;-p In all seriousness, it was a mighty strong wind but once we started the ascent of Skiddaw, we were sheltered from the wind and it was much calmer (and almost warm under the sun at times, believe it or not).
I surprised Neil and myself, I think, with how well I coped with the climb. Okay, we weren't walking at a particularly brisk pace, but we weren't dawdling and we didn't hang about eating a packed lunch (although we did stop for tea (from a flask) and Toblerone (from Santa Claus)at a couple of points. I felt very pleased with myself when we got back to the hotel - I hadn't grumbled once, my legs didn't hurt, I still felt I had something in reserve at the end and time on my feet counts as Marathon training, as far as I am concerned.
We drove home today, after brief stops in Keswick and Ambleside, where I got a pair of walking shoes, rather than boots, which I had been wanting for some time. I also saw a lovely down-filled jacket reduced from £90 to £10 - sadly, they didn't have it in my size :-(
All in all, a lovely few days and much needed after the trials of Friday. I do think things are more on the up than the down, but I also know that the MDT meets tomorrow to review my scans from last week, so I will be a bit antsy until I have my appointment with the consultant on Friday and find out their expert view about what they show. I apologise to everyone in advance for any grumpiness, short temper or generally volatile behaviour over the next few days. If you could all cross your finger, pray to whatever God you believe in and generally send positive thoughts in my direction, that would be just perfect.
Thanks to everyone, as always, for support, comments and thoughts - and especially to Amy, Adam and (my rock) Neil for looking after me so well.
On Friday evening, Neil and I talked about what had happened at hospital that day and the reality that it's entirely possible that this nasty disease could make a return at some point. We needed to have a talk about it. I think I said before that it's the big elephant in the room, which we have been knowingly, casually, ignoring for some months. We acknowledged the elephant and what impact it might have...only in vague, tearful terms, but at least we did. I think it did us good to recognise the possibility, although we both obviously hope and pray that it remains a possibility, not a reality.
We had a big weekend planned, starting with a trip to Glasgow on Saturday to visit my mum, who had moved into her (permanent) care home three days before. She was diagnosed with dementia late last year and had been in hospital for a couple of months, so we wanted to see her in her new surroundings. It was the first time she would have seen me since my surgery and, given that the last time I saw her, she didn't recognise me (and that was before my face changed!), I was none too hopeful about her reaction. In the event, she was much better than I expected. She struggled with names (including my brother who died a couple of years ago, whom she looked after for about 13 years on her own and whom she used to talk about all the time, so that was an indication of how much she struggles with some aspects), but realised I had been ill and asked how I was and said, when we left her, that she hoped it all went well for me. Yes, it was a bit vague and non-specific, but at least I felt that she had some interest in my health. We had taken Adam with us, as we were dropping him off in Carlisle for his new uni term, so my mum got to see him too. I felt very relieved that she was better than I had expected her to be - less frail than I thought (although still very thin), but with a bit of a spark that I thought might have been missing. Put it this way, she has a healthy paranoia about being in residential care!
We had arranged to spend the night with a very dear running friend of mine, Karen, who lives about 40 minutes outside Glasgow and I had managed to arrange to call in on another very dear friend (known her for over 40 years!), Morag, who lives 20 minutes outside Glasgow and fortuitously en route to Karen's! There were four of us who were a really tight little group at school and Fiona, who lives in Newcastle, was also up in Glasgow at the weekend, so she arranged to call in at Mo's at the same time as we did, so a happy little reunion took place. Our fourth member, Lindsey, lives in Canada, so it was a bit short notice for her to get over! We had a good old blether (Adam, of course, was totally bored by our chatter until Mo got out some (very!) old photos of us from SU camp and school days, when he was able to scoff at our clothes and hairstyles. Truly, the 70s is the decade that taste forgot!). It was great for Neil to meet my old friends - he had met Fi once, but many years ago and both of them had pretty much forgotten about it and he had never met Mo.
After a few cups of tea and pieces of cake, we made our way to Karen's, where an equally warm welcome from Karen and her lovely girls Eleanor and Gwen awaited us. Another running friend was there too and we had a fantastic, relaxed evening, chatting over dinner and then relaxing next to a roaring log fire. We were pretty tired after such an early start, so it wasn't very long before Neil, Adam and I took ourselves off to bed. Neil, being a lovely, kind husband, had done all the driving so I could be fresh for seeing my mum and my friends. I know he realised that I was a bit apprehensive about seeing my mum and how she might react and also that I would have some low-level anxiety about seeing my friends with my new face, so he made it as easy as possible for me to be relaxed. I know my friends don't give a fig what I look like, but it's hard to banish the anxiety altogether. I think, in the end, that Mo, Fi, Karen and David thought I looked better than I had led them to expect!
Sunday now, and we set off from Karen's to drop Adam off in Carlisle, via a trip to Tesco to stock up his fridge and cupboards! All parents reading this will be familiar with this procedure, I'm sure.....It was easier, although still difficult, to say goodbye to Adam this time. In September, I was a bit of a tearful wreck, leaving my "baby" in a place so far from home, worrying about how he would settle in, whether he would make friends, whether he would work hard enough! Perhaps, also, there was an extra dimension to my tears because Adam had been through all the stages of my illness, from my finding the lumps in the first place, through the diagnosis, treatment, the very low points and the gradual, slow recovery. This time, it wasn't so bad, although of course the timing wasn't so great, given the slight upset at hospital on Friday - another of life's little ironies, eh? At least this time, I left him with people who are now friends (we were even allowed to meet his best mate, Kirsty!)and with enough food to last at least a fortnight.
Neil and I had decided to take advantage of being up in the north-west of England to spend a couple of days in the Lake District. He spent some evenings researching hotels and booked us into a fabulous hotel (the Ravenstone at Bassenthwaite, if anyone is looking for a good hotel for a walking holiday) for two nights. It was just perfect - wonderful views from our room, very friendly staff, great food, log fire in the bar and a coal fire in the lounge, the biggest selection of board, card and other games I have ever seen, snooker and pool tables...really, you needed a couple of weeks just to work through the games! We had planned to try and walk up Skiddaw, but I had reserved various rights; firstly, the right to say it might be too much, second, the right to go as slowly as a snail and third, the right to grumble and whine every step of the way :-) Of course, Neil had no problem with any of these reserved rights but in the event, I didn't need to invoke any of them because (oh yes, dear reader!) I managed it! We did a small walk on Sunday, just down to Bassenthwaite lake and back, which took a couple of hours and then on Monday, after a huge breakfast, we set off to climb Ullack Pike and then Skiddaw. It was a gloriously sunny, wintry day, with no clouds in the sky and no rain or snow forecast....unusual for the Lakes in January, I think! On the exposed ridge, the wind funnelled through between the peaks and blimey, was it cold and strong! At one point, I had to crouch down because I genuinely thought I might be blown off the mountain....well, I have lost a lot of weight, you know ;-p In all seriousness, it was a mighty strong wind but once we started the ascent of Skiddaw, we were sheltered from the wind and it was much calmer (and almost warm under the sun at times, believe it or not).
I surprised Neil and myself, I think, with how well I coped with the climb. Okay, we weren't walking at a particularly brisk pace, but we weren't dawdling and we didn't hang about eating a packed lunch (although we did stop for tea (from a flask) and Toblerone (from Santa Claus)at a couple of points. I felt very pleased with myself when we got back to the hotel - I hadn't grumbled once, my legs didn't hurt, I still felt I had something in reserve at the end and time on my feet counts as Marathon training, as far as I am concerned.
We drove home today, after brief stops in Keswick and Ambleside, where I got a pair of walking shoes, rather than boots, which I had been wanting for some time. I also saw a lovely down-filled jacket reduced from £90 to £10 - sadly, they didn't have it in my size :-(
All in all, a lovely few days and much needed after the trials of Friday. I do think things are more on the up than the down, but I also know that the MDT meets tomorrow to review my scans from last week, so I will be a bit antsy until I have my appointment with the consultant on Friday and find out their expert view about what they show. I apologise to everyone in advance for any grumpiness, short temper or generally volatile behaviour over the next few days. If you could all cross your finger, pray to whatever God you believe in and generally send positive thoughts in my direction, that would be just perfect.
Thanks to everyone, as always, for support, comments and thoughts - and especially to Amy, Adam and (my rock) Neil for looking after me so well.
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