Remembrance Sunday

In keeping with my decision to try and update more regularly, you may well find that some posts are pretty much not about being ill or having a wonky face, but more about just life in general. I think that's quite a good thing, as it means my focus isn't just on what's happened but is turning more outwards.

Anyway, after Friday night's outing and a quiet Saturday, I went to the Remembrance Day service at  my church yesterday.  A beautiful and moving service and yes, I did shed a few tears. I always do during the 2 minute silence and The Last Post. I observed the silence at home myself on Armistice Day itself and cried then too. The thought of all those wasted lives and the devastation is just heartbreaking. It's even worse when you think of all the wars still going on. Apparently, since the end of the Second World War, there has only been one year (1968) when a British serviceman/woman hasn't lost their life in some conflict. I know we tend to think of war widows as elderly women from WW2, but so many now have lost their husbands in Iraq or Afghanistan and there are lots of young children growing up having lost a parent in military action. So sad.

It was a beautiful day yesterday, though, with glorious autumn sunshine, so Neil and I went for a walk in the afternoon. We thought it was appropriate, on Remembrance Sunday,  to drive out towards Chartwell and walk over the Downs to Churchill's old home, where we shared a light lunch. I find it fascinating to go to places like Chartwell and imagine what conversations took place there - if only those walls and gardens could talk! We didn't do a long walk, so I wasn't too tired at the end of it. I would like to get into the habit of going for a walk several days a week but it's sometimes hard to motivate myself to get out of the house, to be honest. I know that this is linked to how I feel about how I look, so I shall discuss this when I see the psychologist tomorrow. At this rate, I shall have a great big list of things to talk to her about! I'm not sure an hour will be enough...

I did so miss doing the Sodbury Slog yesterday, with my running friends. I have looked at the photos on Facebook and it looks just as much fun as ever. It's on my calendar for next year when, by my calculations, it should actually take place on Sunday 11th November, so it will be even more poignant. The race always starts with a two minute silence and The Last Post, so I always start the race in tears. Several people cried on my behalf yesterday, I believe, for which I thank them!

Today - well, today I have actually been doing some "brain work", as I am writing an exam paper. There's nothing wrong with my brain (although the psychologist may think differently tomorrow!) so as long as I don't try to do too much at one time, I can cope perfectly well with it. It feels good to be doing something "normal" again. I shall work on it over the rest of this week, doing a little at a time. I really do hope that, come January/February, I can start to pick up a bit of work and begin to feel that I am making a contribution to an organisation. It's about self-worth, really - although earning some money would be nice, it's more about feeling that I have something to offer and can make a difference in the public sector. However, I will be careful not to do anything that compromises my continued recovery (and in any case, it isn't easy getting work at the moment, especially in the public sector!). I don't want to work full-time again, so it's a question of looking for some part-time /short-term assignments. Anyway, that is a couple of months away, so no point in fretting about it now!

Hope everyone is having a good Monday, despite the dull, overcast weather.