Since I have got home from hospital, one of the things I have found most tiring and difficult has been talking to people and seeing them face-to-(wonky) face. Yesterday I had a wee bit of a breakthrough in that I asked if I could visit a friend who had kindly made some soup for us and, instead of her coming round and leaving it on the doorstep and not seeing us, I phoned her (another good thing, as it means I feel I will be understood) and we arranged to call in after Neil and I had gone for a walk on the Chart.
I was a bit apprehensive, to be honest, as every time someone sees my face for the first time I worry that they will recoil or feel embarrassed about it. That hasn't happened yet, which is testament to my wonderful family and friends! But going into someone's home, rather than them coming to mine, felt a bit more daring, if that's the right word...however, from the moment we walked into our friend's house and saw her and her husband, and the family friend over visiting from Canada, I felt so comfortable that I almost forgot about my face. The fact that the family friend was originally from Glasgow (common bond!) and was very relaxed and chatty also helped and it did Neil and me a lot of good to sit down, chat, have a glass of wine (vital part of recuperation, I feel) and just relax for a while. I also, during the afternoon, had called in on my neighbours as their daughter (a good friend of ours) is visiting and she's an anaesthetist who understands the operation I have had and its after-effects and also has a good friend who had exactly the same diagnosis and treatment several years ago. It helped to talk to someone "safe", who had professional knowledge but also a personal relationship with me.
So, in summary, a tiring day but I felt I had pushed my boundaries a bit more. Today will be a quiet day, relaxing in the garden or conservatory, enjoying the sunshine and birdsong and with the likelihood of a walk on the Chart with Neil later on to get a bit of exercise. I've just listened to an article on Woman's Hour about ultra-running and it has confirmed that those distances are not for me!!
Much love, Ali x